The Cost of Zero

I’ve spent the past day and a half in the flow. Sifting through my treasure chest of beads turned into a frenzy of creativity. Time disappeared while I let my hands-free and tried to keep my mind out of the way.

As I lay awake in bed and contemplated the dwindling hours left until midnight, I was overcome with sadness and regret. Those emotions puzzled me. Shouldn’t I be happy that I was able to spend so much time productively toward art? I had given those hours of my life a tangible result, rather than feeding them to video games or television.

I realized that my commitment to a No Zero Year held more meaning than a mere starting point towards me becoming more artistic or active. The four activity-based goals that I set for this year must take precedent over all other entertainment. I can still pursue other endeavors; however, I must continue to commit each day to a No Zero in one of my specific long-term goals.

I am disappointed in how I’ve steered my ship. I’m frustrated as I look back and see a map with a shoreline full of zig-zagged lines that stagger over one another in a tangle of misdirection. I want to follow through and reach across great distances to become great at something.

Thankfully, midnight hadn’t arrived, yet.

I was able to grab a writing prompt and create something that made me proud. It was close, but I avoided the cost of zero for one more day. As I understand my motivations for this No Zero Year more, I foresee my days becoming more directed towards exploring the map of my capabilities.

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