I did everything today!

Even though I felt sick today, I hit all my goals:

  • I had my horse riding lesson in the morning, and I wrote about it afterwards.
  • I practiced on the piano, and I wrote about that as well.
  • I practiced Ki-bon
Good job, me.

When It All Comes Together

I’ve been manically consuming anything to do with horses for the past week. I finally had the ride today that I needed. I was able to get Maximas to stick to the speed I wanted, instead of just running around and making us both look like ninnies.

I also wrote a poem from a writing prompt on one of my facebook groups. Horses were able to check off three of my goal boxes for today. Riding, writing, and exercising.

Guitar center is supposed to call me at the end of the week when they can get started on tuning up my classical guitar. I’ve been playing scales on the acoustic until I get the classical one back. Maybe I’ll do that in a little bit so I can have a four checkmark day.

There’s a lot of busy human energy around me. Everyone either wants to win the giant lottery jackpot or is convinced that the presidential inauguration will be the end of the world as we know it.

I took this picture as I was leaving the stable. The sky was so pretty and calm. I want to be like that sky.

Getting Stuck in the Rabbit Hole

I get stuck in rabbit holes. I’ll find something that interests me so intensely that I hyper-focus on it and wake up to find that days have passed. My brain hurts. I’m dazed.

I’ve been down a horse rabbit hole for the past few days. I’ve learned a lot, but all of that information has overloaded my processor. I want to break it down and document it all, but I just need to force myself to step away for a bit.

I’m just putting a notch in the entry book to say that I have been keeping up with my No Zero Year.

I’m going to go back to watching mindless youtube videos, now…

No Zero means Physical Practice

It occurred to me how No Zero Year has changed the way I pursue my goals. Before, I would spend hours watching horse videos or reading blog posts about becoming a better writer. Now, when I check off my list for the day, I only give myself credit for what I’ve physically practiced.

I don’t know the psychology behind my changed behavior, but I think it’s a vast improvement. It’s too easy to become consumed and overstimulated by the sheer volume of instruction on the internet. Every pursuit ultimately comes down to finding my interpretation and voice.

I’ve written quite a bit about how euphoric it is to be in the flow. When I’m in the flow, I’ll have moments where all of my compulsive research comes through and turns into action, but I’m not consciously reviewing that information. I’m just physically writing, playing music, horseback riding, or exercising. I’m doing it, and it’s better. It’s free-flowing. I get into the rhythm, and it just happens.

I still watch a ton of youtube videos and read almost as many blog posts, but they don’t count towards my No Zero Year.

The Cost of Zero

I’ve spent the past day and a half in the flow. Sifting through my treasure chest of beads turned into a frenzy of creativity. Time disappeared while I let my hands-free and tried to keep my mind out of the way.

As I lay awake in bed and contemplated the dwindling hours left until midnight, I was overcome with sadness and regret. Those emotions puzzled me. Shouldn’t I be happy that I was able to spend so much time productively toward art? I had given those hours of my life a tangible result, rather than feeding them to video games or television.

I realized that my commitment to a No Zero Year held more meaning than a mere starting point towards me becoming more artistic or active. The four activity-based goals that I set for this year must take precedent over all other entertainment. I can still pursue other endeavors; however, I must continue to commit each day to a No Zero in one of my specific long-term goals.

I am disappointed in how I’ve steered my ship. I’m frustrated as I look back and see a map with a shoreline full of zig-zagged lines that stagger over one another in a tangle of misdirection. I want to follow through and reach across great distances to become great at something.

Thankfully, midnight hadn’t arrived, yet.

I was able to grab a writing prompt and create something that made me proud. It was close, but I avoided the cost of zero for one more day. As I understand my motivations for this No Zero Year more, I foresee my days becoming more directed towards exploring the map of my capabilities.